Battlefield Earth

May 12, 2000

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Anyone with an I.Q. above 80 should make it a point to avoid the movie Battlefield Earth. The date is sometime in the year 3000 and the earth has been pilfered and burned by a species of aliens with rotten teeth and bad hair called Psychlos. Arrogant miners who conquered our planet 1000 years earlier, the Psychlos have been effectively stripping it of its natural resources. Terl (John Travolta) is the Psychlos’ Chief Security Guard assigned to watch over the “savage man-animals” also known as humans. Terl is greedy and wants to mine a little more than natural resources; he wants to mine gold. He captures a man-animal named Johnny and tries to force him to mine gold in the mountains. But Johnny suddenly becomes all knowing, dynamites his way into Fort Knox, and steals all the gold. And viewers are supposed to fall for this? The Psychlos are so advanced that they can locate veins of gold deep beneath Earth’s surface, yet they can’t find 400 tons of gold on the surface of the planet in Fort Knox? Whatever! Of course Johnny escapes and convinces the other man-animals that if they stick together they can save the Earth. They locate a squadron of Harrier jets and the man-animals are instant fighter pilots! Wait – let’s back up a minute. In the beginning the man-animals were nothing more then spear-chucking cavemen who spoke in grunts. In the span of 7 days, they manage to find two-way radios that still operate, jet fuel that is still good, and a fleet of 1000-year-old military jets that crank right up. This film is a piece of garbage that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It has an absurd plot, lousy acting, terrible directing and ludicrous characters. About an hour into the movie I wanted to leave but I was afraid I would hurt myself trying to find the way out. Two hours into the movie, I thought I’d suffer brain damage if I stayed. I give this blankity blank film an F rating.

This movie has been given a PG-13 rating by the MPAA

Although I am blind, I can appreciate a good movie as well as sighted individuals.
I rely more on a good story line than special effects.